https://www.box.com/s/0zb7mr683qminptaym7f
Do not be shocked to see such advertisements some day in
news papers
GOVT OF BANANA
REPUBLIC
Ministry of Corruption
and Scams
CWG House, 2G Road
____________________________________________________________________________
INTERNATIONAL INVITATION FOR ENRICHMENT
GOVT
SPONSORED INTERNATIONAL LOOT SCHEME
Despite its serious cosmetic efforts
to at least stop growth of corruption in this Republic, if not reduce or
eradicate, Govt has deliberately and miserably failed in this mission. Having
realized that corruption cannot be contained any more due to defective DNA of
politicians and babudom, Govt, on recommendations of GoM of leading ministers
having charges of bribery and public loot, have decided to take advantage of
such an incurable situation.
Since Govt believes in “one world
one family” principle, it has decided to open this sector for world citizens to
exploit prevailing situation to develop world economies in this recession
through FDI, by using our USP and DNA of corruption. The President of Republic therefore
invites all unethical world citizens to invest in this country by way of FDI for
looting its wealth and common citizenry through govt. sponsored corruption and
malpractices.
Following facilities have been developed and put in place to
attract best talent:
01. 90% of politicians are for sale at the right price.
02. 80% of govt. officers are ready for being purchased at
50% price payable to politicians.
03. There is facility of combo plan covering politicians and
officers with 10% discount.
04. 60% of citizenry are religiously unethical when it comes
to money. They are prepared for being sold for a dozen bananas also. Hence you
will be respected if you get rich with unethical means.
05. Country has very competent advocates to defend you at
huge fees in case caught for corruption. Judiciary is crippled with delay of few
decades, so that you cannot be punished during your life time. Delay is our
national disease.
06. Insurance cover is available for risks of being
penalized for corruption, financial loss and reputation risk.
07. Peon to head minister can be purchased if you have money
to invest in them.
08. Amount of bribery can be classified as miscellaneous
expenses in your books or capitalized as long term investment, as per standard
practice of accounting of republic.
09. Country does not have effective investigative agencies, regulators,
jokepals or anti-corruption mechanism. They are all manageable for a fee through
politicians, who control them with iron hand.
10. You can breach or bend or throw to winds all laws in
books of this republic, for a price to be paid to ruling party through Swiss
bank account or in kind by way of land to relatives and friends of politicians.
11. Govt runs “Institute of Bribery
13. You can operate as joint venture with local proven fixers
or stand alone by availing services of Govt. certified bribery advisors.
14. You can avail interest free bank finance [at a price for
speed] for your business in this republic under this scheme, which would be
treated as priority sector loan by banks.
15. No sector [including religion] is closed for you for
exploitation through corruption and unethical practices. All sectors are open
for all [ hava se patal tak].
16. There are no regulatory restrictions for repatriation of
looted wealth, provided share of politicians and officers are paid honestly.
17. Bribes and undue favours are tax free for life in the
hands of recipients. This rule is guaranteed for next 100 years.
18. All corrupts are close relatives among themselves and
fully cooperate each other irrespective of party affiliation, caste, creed,
religion, region, language, financial status etc. They work as homogeneous
group to loot and develop the world and themselves, their relatives and
business associates/friends.
19. We have fractured law of transparency and openness and
have consigned it to books through complexities and managing Information Freedom
Commissions. Efforts are being made to remove it from books for the benefit of your
future generations.
20. List of businessmen and politicians involved in big
ticket [ one lakh crore and above] scams in last 15 years is available with
contact details on website of this ministry for approaching them for expertise
and joint venture. Details of their phenomenal progress in this line are also uploaded
with certified data, which are being updated on hourly basis.
Prohibitions: This business opportunity is not open to citizens of
countries which rank in first 50 countries as most honest countries by TI. They
may spoil the situation. Preference will be given to citizens of those
countries which are ranked as top ten most corrupt countries by TI.
Risks as perceived by Govt:
1. Of late, few lakhs of citizens are suffering from disease
of honesty and good governance. Govt is trying to develop vaccine for such
disease. However, you may encounter problems from such sick citizens in your business.
You can cover this risk in insurance policies with additional premium.
2. Govt is helpless in the matter of judicial activism and
this risk has to be factored in at your own level. No insurance is available
for this risk in this Republic at present. Some companies may research and
develop such insurance cover in future.
4. You run risk of being deported from this country if you
get infected with disease of ethics, true religion, and transparency or get
married with spouse with such vices.
5. Govt has put in place web of laws, bye-laws, rules,
regulations, subjective interpretations, so that no one can honestly survive in
business or otherwise live without bribing. For a seat in train also one has to
pay bribe. Hence you run risk of failing if you do not properly marshal art of
bribery and accept it as business acumen.
Sovereign Irrevocable Govt Guarantee: Govt guarantees that all ministers,
politicians [ irrespective of
party], corrupt officers and entire govt machinery will defend you at all
forums including media, even for well substantiated charges of misdoing against
you.
Official Invitation: Hence, come one and come all to reap fruits of corruption
and unethical business practices in country of religious citizenry.
For further details contact toll free number from any where
in world. 19420420420 or email us at bdd@mcs.gbr.com or visit our website
www.mcs.gbr.com or write to us on above address. All details will be treated as
top secret.
To be published in all leading news papers of the world, who
kick-back half the charges for publication to “Save Corruption Victims Fund” of
the Govt.
Director [International Business Development]
______________________________________________________________________
This piece is a work of fiction intended to bring a smile to
your face, as part of literature on corruption. It bears no connection to any
country or persons or events or characters in real life. It is upto you to
laugh or weep after reading the article. Author carries no risk.
Authored by: J. P.
Shah, Junagadh Gujarat.
jpshah50@yahoo.co.in 191012
